GidGrunkCifica
by AwesomeGuitarSolo69
Summary: Join the party as Dipper watches Gideon force Stan to do terrible, terrible things to Pacifica. Terrible things. . .
1. Gideon Not-So-Gleeful

Alright then, if you're reading this it's A) because you clicked on it in a relevant comment chain with the mention of the aforementioned ship or B) because somehow you found it, although I don't know how works beyond edgy 13 year olds posting their self-insert Mary Sue stories that are decidedly not the kind of thing I like to read. Although, 4chan isn't exactly high art, so I won't judge.

Anyway, I need to warn you that I write how I talk; with a lot of rambling. So, introductory paragraphs out of the way I present to you the _greatest_ ship in the Gravity Falls fandom ever to be born out of a picture on Twitter:

 **GidGrunkCifica**

It had been a rough few months for "Lil" Gideon Gleeful. Combined with the huge gaps between new episodes, he had been stuck in adult jail as a nine year old. Luckily, the soap was on small ropes attached to the walls and the Gravity Falls Penitentiary was decidedly soft on inmates. Even inmates that had planted cameras on, in order to spy on, the entire town. He sat on his bunk staring at the other poster on the wall, the one that made it look like his cell had a window and it was dark outside. Reclining to a laying position he slipped into his second revenge fantasy of the evening, and, just before he could blast Dipper Pines' head into oblivion and begin carving all kinds of things into the boys' remaining skull bits before marrying Mabel Pines and living happily ever after a fresh thought came into his mind.

 _OK Gideon_ He thought _the last few times you've gone after those twins you've only targeted their family and the Mystery Shack as one specific entity, in order to gain the journals. What if,_ he began to grin at his own supposed brilliance, _there was some way to drag that darned Stanford's reputation so far down he'll be the one in jail. . ._

At this, he took a little time out of thinking to laugh evilly then went into a somewhat deeper phase of planning. Of course, highest on the agenda was getting out of jail but the mayor hadn't died yet since this is set before The Stanchurian Candidate, so he'd have to either resort to using the one-time use mind control spell he had hidden in his ridiculously over-done hair, or find a way to bring his targets to him. The first, of course, was Stanford Pines (or, to those of us in-the-know, Stan **ley** but our good buddy Gideon here doesn't know that) and the second was a little up in the air. First he needed to ensure something, then they would be finalised but it could easily work with two other townsfolk. As he yelled for the guard to bring his laptop so he could give his father a call, gears whirred and cogs slotted together in his somewhat overdeveloped brain. _Yes_ he smirked to himself _this'll work. . ._

Bud Gleeful saw the logo for the Earthpe (dumb name I know, but I can't think of any better Skype knock-off names right now) call pop up in the corner of his screen before he heard the ringtone flash out. He had been browsing Alanslist (I know, I know) for a new promotional tool to replace the giant balloon dollar sign he had lost. Still looking for something as flashy, and as particularly worded. . .

He jumped at the sight. Then he saw who it was coming from, and jumped a second time so that now his skin was at least a few feet from the rest of his body. He began to sweat profusely and used his large, hammy finger on the touchpad to move the cursor from a decent looking balloon that had a few minutes left until it was sold to click on the answer button. Upon answering, he wasn't sure if the ominous music was being played from his sons' end, his own, or was added in post-production to make the scene seem scarier – I mean, Gideon on his own isn't really all that intimidating.

"W-why hey there son!" he managed to stammer out, before the demon-spawn he had somehow conceived butted in and took control of the conversation.

Gideon seemed exasperated that his father wanted to actually try and have a chat after they hadn't talked in so long, and immediately launched into his orders.

"Daddy, I've come up with a new plan. I'll give you more of the details when you call me back, but by this time tomorrow I expect to know what kind of relationship Dipper Pines and Pacifica Northwest have. Do I make myself clear?"

It had been a fair few calls since Bud had tried to comment on anything his son was saying while he was talking, so instead he sat in silence and tried to think about what he would do to appease his son. However, he wasn't sure how he was supposed to check up on the relationship of two twelve year olds, and he asked how he might do this.

"Play yourself sympathetic. Get those twins to think you're torn up that you don't get to see your precious son, and then they'll get close to you. Come on Daddy, I swear sometimes I give you too much credit – you'll figure it out"

With that, Gideon ended the call. The guard tried to take back the laptop, but Gideon hissed at him and kept it, using the installed programs to draw up the rest of his plans for the next few hours. Bud sat and stared at the "call ended" screen for a little while. He thought about how terribly his son treated those around him, and wondered what he would do about it. For now, though, he needed to get close to the Pines and he wouldn't have to pretend to be torn up to get to them.

 **END PART ONE**

There we go then, I had planned on uploading this as one huge thing but I think this is a nice place to stop for the moment. Since I tend to work on things in a single-minded nature for a while before forgetting about them, you could either see the next part soon or never.


	2. That's creepy, dude

I'm still riding pretty high after I got that first bit done so I'm going to add this second one pretty soon after. I just need to remember to keep writing them. I should also probably stop addressing the three people that'll read this in my little "Sailor Says" section here, but this is only the second chapter so I'll keep it up as long as I can.

Here we go then, pucker your assholes because it's part two of:

 **GidGrunkCifica**

Bud had managed to stumble his way through the dense woods in the fading light to the wide dirt track leading up to the Mystery Shack, the building his son seemed obsessed with just over a couple of books. Bud sometimes thought he needed to learn to read better than his basic comprehension, but then he realised how little time he had. Just 24 hours to cosy up to some kids and get them to tell him about their relationships.  
"Oh Lord. . ." he breathed as he tried to formulate a plan, trudging towards the building.

Inside the Mystery Shack, it was dark and still. The only sound was the occasional wielding emanating from past the vending machine and Dipper clicking his pen, awake past Stan and Mabel and alone in what actually counted as the house. It was Dipper, therefore, that heard the knocking on the door. He groaned, and put down the black light and the journal, slipped out of bed and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. He trudged down the stairs and across to the front door. A head he didn't recognise was silhouetted in the glass and the boy considered just leaving it. Then, he heard the voice from the other side.  
"Hello there?"  
Bud Gleeful. Gideon Gleeful's father. Immediately Dipper's sleep-deprived mind jumped to the conclusion that Gideon was somehow there with him, just waiting for the door to open so he could come inside and steal the deed for the Shack. Scared, he yelled and the sound carried upstairs and woke Mabel. In a flash, she had bounced downstairs to aid her brother in his distress. 

She pounced into fighting stance in behind her brother, and shouted at him, asking what was wrong. Dipper simply pointed at the silhouette, which spoke again as he did so.  
"We-hell, what in the heck is goin' on in there?"  
Mabel and Dipper huddled together, and began to whisper. Dipper started.  
"It's Gideon, he's back, I'm sure of it"  
"I don't think it is Dippingsauce, he's usually pretty ex-extr"  
"Extravagant?"  
"That – in his entrances"  
"Then why is his dad here?"  
"We should find out"  
"That sounds like a bad idea"

"What could possibly go wrong?" mused Mabel as she broke from the huddle and sauntered over to the front door. She put a hand on the handle.  
"No!" Dipper hissed "Don't!"  
Smirking, Mabel did. She twisted the metal handle and whipped the wooden door open. After getting himself so tensed up and ready, Dipper was almost disappointed Gideon wasn't there. He let out the part of him that was relieved with a long "Ahhhh. . ."

Bud was confused at this action, but not wanting to arouse any suspicion he didn't follow up. Before him he got his first proper look at the two. The girl, the one his son obsessed over, and the boy who he hated with the fury of a thousand suns. He gulped and drew in some breath, but before he could talk Mabel shouted  
"What do you want, Gideon's dad?!"  
Dipper hushed her, not wanting to alert Ford or Stan, and agreed with her question  
"Yeah dude, what are you doing here?"  
"Well, ah, I want you to help me with my son-"  
"Gideon?!" Mabel exclaimed, scared of just his name.  
"Yes child, he . . . he's not happy to be in jail. . ."  
"It's been weeks, why are you only just bringing this up now?" questioned Dipper  
"Look, I need you two to help me out" 

Dipper asked him to wait for a second, and huddled with Mabel again, facing away from Bud. They discussed the situation with low voices, then asked Bud what he wanted help with. When he didn't answer immediately, Mabel questioned him again, more intensely. Bud decided not to lie. He'd explain the situation, these kids seemed nice, they'd understand, surely?

"No"

The answer from the two for their help was instant and unanimous.

"Please! You don't understand! Gideon is. . ." Bud trailed, not sure if his son was somehow listening in.  
"But. . .why do you want us to help you get over this?"  
"He told me to get close to you!"  
Dipper was concerned.  
"For . . . the journals?"  
"No actually" Bud was confused "He wants to know what you think of, um, whasserface . . . Pacifica? Maybe?"

Dipper went red. In truth, he was crushing on Pacifica pretty hard since she hugged him. That had been as close as he'd ever been to a girl that wasn't related to him but no one, especially not Mabel, could know about that.  
Then again, Mr. Gleeful's situation seemed dire. He was suspicious, but nothing would come of this, right? Gideon was safely locked away. . .

Dipper swallowed.  
"I'll tell you" he said, wincing "If it's out of Mabel's earshot"

He had prepared for the squeal. He had expected Mabel to agree, and sneak off. He knew she was still listening. _Fuck it_ he thought – he couldn't do anything else. She'd pretend not to know, he was sure.

"Look I . . ." he began "This is just for Gideon, OK?"  
"Yes, yes child! If he wasn't so intimidating, I wouldn't be here!"  
"I trust you then . . . I don't know dude, I kinda like Pacifica. Like, a lot"  
"Thank you! I'll be off. You two are life savers" he handed them each a coupon "50% off a new car! Well, new for _you. . ._ "

They accepted the token of gratitude and wished Bud well. Dipper just wanted to get back to trying to figure out who stole those blasted Capers, but Mabel kept him up hounding him about what he'd just admitted to.

Bud returned to his laptop the following evening. He had to practice before he could call Gideon. He clicked the button and under a second later, his son answered.

"What"? He spat, in a hurry  
"Hey there! The boy said that –"  
"Y – you actually did it!?" Gideon was surprised. Unfortunately, this threw Bud off what he had rehearsed.  
"Y . . . yes . . . The boy said that he, uh, _kinda liked her. Like, a lot"  
_ "Perfect! Thank you!"

Gideon snapped the laptop closed and grinned from ear to ear. Oh, he could positively _smell_ those journals! He was so close!

 **END PART TWO**

I hope you guys know it's only going to get worse from here. Gideon is going to get Stan involved, and . . . actually, I won't spoil it. Just know that, at 1000 words an entry, this is going to be fairly pacey until we get to the meat. It'll be a few more days before part three. See you then, sickos!


	3. Getting closer to the juicy bits!

I need to be coming up with punnier chapter titles. "Dude, that's creepy"?! I mean, what is that? Anyway, I'm going to stop trying to (and failing) to be funny and get on with it, because even I find it annoying when people write these bits before the actual writing bit. I'm going to do it anyway, because we all need a break from . . . what's to come. Not in this chapter, I'm still "setting the scene" as it were, but soon.

I don't have anything else witty or whatever to say, so here we go. Stitch your eyelids shut because it's chapter three of:

 **GidGrunkCifica**

Everything was going just as planned. That confounded Dipper boy was, in fact, infatuated with the Northwests' daughter. This would work in his favour. The old man would be easily manipulated by the kidnap of his great nephew – and it wouldn't even be kidnap! The boy would come to him after he had taken the girl. Oh, what a genius he was! He had even been able to use his calendars' Word Of The Day: Infatuated. He wasn't sure if he'd used it right, though.  
 _Doubt is for the weak, Gideon!_ He reminded himself and opened his laptop again. He'd call his contacts, tell them what he wanted. His father would never be able to steal the daughter of a rich family – he'd be caught immediately. Perhaps if his son wasn't in jail and pretty universally hated he'd be able to be let off thanks to popularity, but would his charm be able to beat all the Northwests' money? He'd bet on it. Of course he would – he was, after all, a psychic. Self-proclaimed, as all were, and completely fake. As all were. He had intended to become a real one, but there was nothing in his journal at the time to give him the real power. It didn't matter.

His contact answered the call, and he barked that he wanted the Northwest girl in the cell opposite his within the week.

"It will be done, Gideon" came his answer.

The call ended and again, the boy reclined. At this point, nothing could go wrong.

Pacifica Northwest (after that, who else did you expect me to cut to?) had just woken up. As was routine, she checked her impossibly expensive clock. It could tell her the time and date of any place on Earth, but she only cared about Gravity Falls. It was a Wednesday, she had been woken early – at _seven AM!_ By her parents and she knew they were going to continue her punishment for her actions at the party still. Her father hadn't gotten over it. Even though it was pretty much definite from the news outlets of the town and messages from the guests, it had been just fine, Preston Northwest felt his family name had been dragged through the mud and that the only way to wipe it clean was to take out his anger on his daughter. His wife kept asking him to stop, it had been enough at this point, surely, but he had continued. Maids and servants that had questioned him had been replaced. He would deal with Pacifica and her actions.  
She winced as her personal maid opened the ornate curtains and flooded the room with the early morning sun. She allowed herself to be dressed by the maid. Normally she would have done it herself, but she needed as much energy as possible to deal with whatever her father would be doing to her today. She thanked her maid for helping her out and began to leave her bedroom. As she reached the door she heard a yelp, and whipped around.

In the short second she had to take in the scene her maid had been grabbed by a burly man in a balaclava, and a second was coming straight through the shattered glass of her window towards her. She didn't have enough time to react and form a scream before he grabbed her, and there was a rag over her mouth. It acted quickly – she had, after all, just woken up – and she passed out.

Dipper woke a little later than seven in the morning. His Grunkle complained that he seemed to be coming downstairs later and later in the day, but what was he supposed to do when he stayed up into the early hours helping Ford with his inventions? Rubbing the sleep from his eyes he padded down the stairs. Passing the living room, he noted it was empty and when he reached the kitchen he noticed that it was too. He wondered where Stan and Mabel were, but decided he wouldn't worry about it. Maybe he'd take the day to himself. After he had eaten, he checked the sign on the door. It still said the Mystery Shack was closed.  
 _Whatever_ he thought _they'll be back_

Then the phone rang.

Instinctively he yelled "I'll get it!" to the empty shack, and dashed to the phone. When he picked it up he casually recalled that whoever was on the other end was calling the Pines Residence, or Mystery Shack, depending on who they were. When he had finished the voice on the other end spoke and startled him.

"Why hello there Dipper Pines!"  
"Whoa! Gideon?! I thought you were in jail!"  
"I am. . .but, and don't tell anyone I said this, it's not so bad"  
Dipper had no response.  
"I'm guessing you're wondering what I want?" Gideon asked to break the silence  
"Do I have a choice?"  
"Well" Gideon immediately dived into his demands "You will come on down to the jail to visit me"  
"Uh . . . no I won't"  
"Come on, for me?"  
"No way dude!"  
"Then how about for her?"

Dipper froze in fear at the words. He heard the phone scuffling and his mind jumped to Mabel. He began to sweat, worrying, he didn't know where she was, where was she oh God had Gideon taken her? What had happened to Stan?

Then he heard a girl's voice.

"D-dipper! Don't do what he says!"

As relieved as Dipper was that it wasn't his sister, he was still worried. He had, at some point, vowed to keep Pacifica safe. He had almost zoned out at this point, not listening to what was happening. Trying to formulate a plan. He heard the sound of a slap, and listened again.

"He's crazy! Don't come here! Please!"

On one hand, he wanted to go and save Pacifica. He had to . . . in fact, in his mind there was no other hand. It was just that he had to go. He wouldn't let anyone else know where he was going, he simply slipped on his shoes and headed out the door. Hanging up on Gideon as he did so.


	4. So this chapter's a little late, huh

OK then, this chapter is pretty much everyone's last chance to turn back. Beyond this, all hope is lost for our heroes – probably. I haven't decided if I'll have some Deus Ex Machina ending yet or not. Who knows, but for now here we go. Tense those cute little ass cheeks, because it's part 5 of:

 **GidGrunkCifica**

It was late by the time Stanley returned to the Mystery Shack with a months' worth of groceries that would last a week at best and Mabel – whose pig would eat the majority of the aforementioned groceries. He got out of the car slowly and the decades-old suspension creaked ominously like it always did. Shivering at the sound, he strolled to the trunk and opened it up. Stan groaned loudly at the sheer amount of bags, and told Mabel to go get Dipper to help her out with it before walking into the Shack.  
Cupping his hands over his oversized ears as Mabel sprinted around calling his name, Stan found the note scrawled by Dipper before the kid left. Simply, it said

 _I've gone out for a while – be back soon!_

Stan didn't know if it was the scrawled letters or the vague nature of the note, but he felt something wasn't right. Especially as the kid wasn't back yet. . .  
He pushed the thought that something bad had happened to Dipper out of his head. Every time something near deadly had been about to hit the kid, there'd be some miracle and he'd deal with it. Besides, the kid had got himself into danger – he'd have to get himself out.  
Still, a nagging suspicion ate at his thoughts as he sat down to watch some TV.

It had only taken an hour for Dipper to make his way across town and to the jail. He hadn't stopped along the way; he had only been given a few sideways looks for looking so worried and running. The jail itself was a very imposing building – four flat grey walls topped with barbed wire held the building inside. It seemed to be constantly dark on this side of town, and he waved to Sheriff Blubs as he reached the gate. The guy seemed to work every government related job in town with his partner. . .

Blubs let Dipper in, no question asked, and led him inside. He had been searched by the prison guards. He noticed that he hadn't seen any of these people around town, but shrugged it off. He didn't go to town much anyway, so it was no surprise he hadn't noticed them.  
Then he had been led through the cells. There was only one room of them, with two layers of cells. In all there must have been just twenty concrete and steel cages to hold Gravity Falls' worst. Some beefy dudes who looked like they belonged on Harley Davidsons glared at him menacingly as he was guided to the furthest cell from the door.

He tried to look into the cell on the opposite side of the hall, but the guard was blocking his vision and turned him to the right. The person on the other side of the bars had been expected, but he still sent a quick shiver down Dipper's spine.

There, with his hands behind his back and giving Dipper an evil grin whilst having to look up at him, was Gideon Gleeful. Dipper's eyes glanced around Gideon's cell to see if there was anything to boy could use against him, but saw nothing. Still, though, Dipper was tense.  
They stared at each other for a short time.

Gideon raised an arm, causing Dipper to flinch, and snapped his fingers. Immediately the guard left the two and thoughts began to race around in Dipper's mind.

 _What? But why would the guard obey an inmate? And how could they leave an outsider alone with one?!_

Then, Gideon broke the silence, drawling Dipper's name.

"Well . . . Dipper Pines"  
"Gideon"  
"I kind of expected you to show up, no matter what she said"

With this, Gideon nodded and Dipper span around. In the opposite cell was Pacifica Northwest – tears had stained the mascara from her eyes down her cheeks, she was bruised and her clothes were ripped. Her usually perfect hair was now ruffled and messy, and she stared at the ground with her eyes wide open. She was shivering slightly.

"W-what have you done to her?" Dipper demanded, somewhat shaken  
"Nothing too harsh. Yet"

Gideon chuckled, then gestured toward the cell he had Pacifica tied up in.

"How about you take a seat over there?" Asked the shorter boy, pointing at a chair opposite the girl "I can get you nice and tied up, and we'll wait for Stanford"

Dipper flinched slightly, before remembering that Gideon didn't know that the man he referred to had a brother. Then, he sighed.

"Again, I don't have a choice, do I?"

Before he grudgingly walked across the hall and into the room, before sitting down.  
"Whatever" he said "Let's get this over with"

Gideon giggled menacingly, then assured himself Stanford would realise what was going on soon. He would wait a day before he gave him a call, though. Both to put Stan on edge and so that he could calm down a bit. With these nerves, he'd never be able to be as menacing and scary as he usually was, you know?  
 _Revenge is a dish best served with some permanent mental scars on the side_


End file.
